My Vulnerability, My Strength: Reflections on 'Pod Not From Here' with Jaafar
When Jaafar Issa invited me to be part of his podcast Pod Not From Here, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions—excitement intertwined with a profound sense of fear. While part of me was thrilled at the opportunity, another part—the introverted, quieter side—was hesitant.
I knew this would be a moment of vulnerability, and I wasn’t sure if I was fully ready for that. But, as I’ve come to realize, every opportunity, whether daunting or exhilarating, is part of God’s plan, even if we don’t always understand it at first.
Entering the Studio: Finding Comfort in Vulnerability
The morning of the podcast, I found myself feeling unusually anxious, a mix of nerves and excitement that seemed to only grow stronger as I arrived at the studio. But to my surprise, the studio itself was nothing like what I had imagined. I expected something formal, structured—maybe a large table or some sort of setup that would remind me of an office space. Instead, I found myself in a cozy, calming environment that immediately put me at ease.
Jaafar was instrumental in creating that feeling of comfort. From the very start, he had a way of making me feel like I was speaking with a friend, not recording an episode for an audience. It wasn’t just an interview; it was more like a heart-to-heart conversation. The setting and the energy helped me embrace that vulnerability, even though I wasn’t sure I was ready for what was to come.
The Conversation: Real, Raw, and Unexpected
One thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much you prepare for something, it never quite turns out the way you expect. That was certainly the case with this interview. Jaafar had given me an outline of the questions he might ask, and I went a step further and watched a few episodes. After studying what some of the questions might be, I thought I was ready. But as the conversation flowed, it took on a life of its own. The questions became more personal, touching on aspects of my life and work that I hadn’t fully prepared for.
At one point, we delved into a deeply personal discussion about postpartum depression—a topic I hadn’t initially expected to explore in such depth. I opened up about my own experience with postpartum emotions and how art therapy helped me navigate those challenging times. It was an intense moment, one that felt both cathartic and exposing. But I believe it was an important conversation to have, not just for me, but for anyone listening who may be going through something similar. It’s funny because at certain points, I felt like some of my responses were weak in comparison to my knowledge and experiences but I carried on despite this.
Art therapy, as I shared, has been a guiding light for me and many others in transforming emotional turmoil into healing. The power of creativity as a means of processing emotions cannot be overstated, and I felt it was crucial to communicate that during the podcast. Again, at certain points I felt my responses were lacking in the articulation of what I really wanted to get across. Jaafar's thoughtful, almost therapeutic questioning allowed me to share how my journey with art, both as a personal practice and as a tool in my work, has empowered me and those I work with.
Doubts and Overthinking: Navigating My Anxiety
After the recording ended, the overthinking began. I couldn’t help but worry: Had I said the right things? Did I come across as knowledgeable or was I too unpolished? These thoughts spiraled, and I found myself texting Jaafar multiple times, asking if certain parts had been edited out, concerned that some of my answers weren’t "good enough."
I couldn’t even bring myself to watch the episode at first. Instead, I sent the link to my sister and asked her for her opinion. “Did it sound okay? Was I clear in what I was trying to say?” I bombarded her with questions, and she reassured me that it was powerful and moving. Still, I waited for feedback from others before allowing myself to watch it. Then, the messages started pouring in.
The Impact: From Postpartum Conversations to Art Therapy Inquiries
To my surprise, the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. The vulnerability I had feared turned out to be the very thing people resonated with most. I received messages from people who thanked me for being so open, especially about the challenges of motherhood and postpartum depression. Many were curious to learn more about how art therapy can help with emotional healing, and it sparked a wave of interest in my studio’s offerings.
More inquiries for classes, especially our art therapy sessions, started coming in, showing me the power of honest, raw conversations. Sometimes, what we fear the most—being vulnerable in front of others—becomes our greatest strength and the very thing that connects us to others.
Reflecting on the Misunderstood Comment
However, there was one part of the conversation that left me feeling uneasy after the episode aired. I had mentioned the LGBTQ+ community, and my words may have been misunderstood. I felt the need to clarify my position later on. My personal views are shaped by my faith, but my studio is a place of tolerance, love, and acceptance. I wanted to ensure that my message was clear: art is for everyone, and the lessons we teach in our sessions emphasize acceptance and understanding.
What I Learned: Embracing the Journey
Looking back on the experience, I realize how important it is to step outside your comfort zone, even when it feels uncomfortable. Being on Pod Not From Here was a vulnerable moment for me, but it also gave me a chance to connect with so many people on a deeper level.
As an artist and art therapist, I’ve always believed in the transformative power of creativity and expression. This podcast reaffirmed that belief for me. Art has the power to heal, to connect, and to empower us in ways we might not even expect. This experience—though nerve-wracking—reminded me of the importance of sharing our journeys, no matter how unprepared or imperfect we may feel.
