How I Used Art Therapy with My Son
Art therapy is indeed an effective form of therapy that allows individuals to interpret the unspeakable. However, I didn’t expect to use it with my kids and witness such a huge impact on their personalities, especially with my eldest, Jawad, who experienced speech delay.
Around the age of two, Jawad and I had trouble communicating. So, I looked for ways and tools to make communication easier, and to let him express himself without having a melt-down. Then I thought, since I am an artist, maybe art would be the best way to show him what emotions are and how they can clearly manifest.
Jawad used to have about 5 to 6, and even 7 tantrums a day, and to be honest they were extremely challenging, like each tantrum would last about five minutes. During his episodes, he would hit himself and bang his head against the wall. You can’t imagine how hard It was. At that time, my only solution was to use art as a tool to facilitate communication.
The First Steps of Art Therapy
The first thing I did was to get a large chalk board, he was 2 years old at that time. We would draw facial expressions every day, like a happy face, a sad face, an angry face, a hungry face, a frustrated face, and a disappointed face. We had about nine faces showing feelings displayed on that wall.
We would implement this activity on a daily basis. Whenever he felt something, we would just return to the board, where I would encourage him to express his emotions by pointing out that he is, for example, disappointed at the moment, sad, mad, or even hungry, and we also used flashcards a lot! He did not comprehend anything at that time.
Mind you that he was still nonverbal; we didn’t communicate with words, but rather with body language and drawings. He couldn’t draw though, it was me who would sketch to show and help him out, but I made sure he was involved in the process. Even though he did not particularly draw with me, however, he was still engaged and involved.
Remarkable Outcomes
Fast forward to now, looking back, it was a long journey indeed. It was not a brief one-week thing, if anything it was a four year affair.
However, he did actually talk at the age of 3. The moment he started talking, all these flashcards and words that I used to show him and say to him suddenly came back. It seemed that he was memorizing everything, and at the age of 3, he began expressing it.
Now, my son will soon turn six. Whenever we fight, or whenever he gets into situations where he experiences strong emotions, like sadness or disappointment, the only way he can express it physically is by showing anger. I find him grabbing a paper, sitting at a table, and trying to translate his emotions by drawing them out and showing me the outcome.
So, for this particular illustration, we had a fight over a show. Since it wasn’t screen time, he wasn’t allowed to watch tv, but he wanted to watch Color Crew; which is a show that features triangle-shaped characters, the exact same triangles showing twice on top of the illustration.
He was so determined to watch the show, and I said no, causing an argument that turned into a fight. He was extremely frustrated with my answer. He then grabbed a piece of paper to illustrate his emotions. He drew a broken heart with as X as a symbol of my refusal, all in a sad face. The drawing showed how sad and angry he was.
We talked about the problem, solved it, and I realized what I did four years ago was really powerful. It is literally allowing my son to express the emotions that he cannot say out loud, all through the power of art.
A Fruitful Approach That Requires Patience
The huge effort I did four years ago with my son, using art, flashcards, and visual images were mainly targeted to help him improve his speech.
At that time, I thought it was useless, and it felt like a waste of time, because I didn’t witness instant results. During that time, I did not feel good about the whole thing. Feelings like hopelessness, disappointment, frustration, and fear got the best of me.
Such feelings emerged from all the categories they have for kids that have speech delay, such as autism, ADHD, or whatever syndromes or spectrums they want to put the kids under at a very early age.
However, I did do the autism screening for my son out of fear. That overwhelming fear is totally justified, since speech delay is often connected to autism which usually leaves the mom in a very devastated state.
If you are a mom going through a similar situation, know that you are not alone. Things will get easier, and you must know that you are doing the best you can for your kids and you are the perfect mom for them. Don’t lose hope, for you will collect in the near future the rewards of the hard work you are now doing.
As of now, I am noticing the outcomes of the work I did with my son four years ago. He is emotionally intelligent compared to kids his age. He can easily express his feelings and emotions using complex words, like "frustrated" or "disappointed."
The Impact of Early Art Engagement
As a result of an early engagement with art therapy, my six-year old boy is now fully aware of his needs. He also possesses a strong self-esteem that allows him to stand in front of people, communicate with them, and make new friendships.
He is never scared of taking risks in life, like he surprises me sometimes when he just steps onto stages and talk on the microphone. Plus, whenever we are in a public event he is never afraid of raising his hand and participating with the speaker. I believe that goes back to where I used art with him between the ages of 2 and 3 years old.
Four Ways to Include Art Therapy to Your Daily Routine with Your Kids
Number One
Try an activity where you both draw the thing that you like to do the most. For example, if your child likes to play soccer and you like to listen to music, you could create a stick figure listening to music while your child would draw a figure kicking a ball. As you regularly do these activities, the illustrations would get more expressive and more detailed as it becomes like a daily habit for both of you.
Number Two
You can ask your child to simply draw their current emotions. There’s no right or wrong about this. Make sure to always compliment their work and show how proud you are of them even if they draw a bunch of scribbles.
Number Three
If they’re going through an emotional breakdown, and they don’t want to talk about it, you can ask them to take a moment alone, and have papers, crayons, markers, or other art supplies you have on hand. Ask them if they want to color their feelings. Some kids may be up to it, while others may not, which is totally fine, not all kids like to use this method to express themselves.
Number Four
Art can be used as a brain break, just like we use the musical videos on YouTube. We can still use music, but preferably meditative music accompanied by a five minutes coloring session. Kids are asked to color, no need for them to draw though. However, they can also be expressive and draw their own ideas. But you must always remember that most drawings are an auto reflection of what’s inside.
